Tag Archives: work

Fear

A simple meditation for being with your fears

Sometimes high up in the forest, I find a rock to perch upon. Sometimes, I read, other times I meditate but when I want to come back to reality and lose my fears of the future; I do this.

I find the highest rock. I find an area that seems comfortable to me, I stand tall and close my eyes. I stand there until I completely forget where I am, losing time and space. Gaining a fleeting feeling as if I am hovering above the earth.

rtable to me, I stand tall and close my eyes. I stand there until I completely forget where I am, losing time and space. Gaining a fleeting feeling as if I am hovering above the earth.

All I think about is this:

Do I trust myself deeply? Decisions, actions, future, past.

I trust myself deeply, decisions, actions, future, past all happened because I trust myself deeply.

I go through this until I mean exactly what I say.
Knowing that the universe provides always. Every time I close my eyes, I know I trust myself & the universe.

What am I going through:

Lately, I have been doing this often as my path to graduate school begins very soon. I look at where this beautiful life journey has brought me. In the beginning, I was upset I did not take this journey sooner, then I feared if it would be worth the money and as the time to descend to Boulder; I can’t help but think of how I will once again be leaving a home I just created for myself. I will be out of my element, standing out as me, the girl from California among a class of 40 other students from mostly the east coast. I have not been in a classroom since I graduated in 2012 from Fresno State. I will be asked to write & then I will be critiqued on my writing. I love to write but I fear, like so many times in the past, it just won’t be good enough. Will my conservative, liberal thoughts not be accepted by my peers? Do I realllllly want to do this? When I am feeling scared, alone or just not me, I can’t hop in the car to see the people who make me feel the best. The universe always provides, ALWAYS provides what it is & exactly what you need, the faith in me for that is deep. So while these fears are so apparent, my meditation has always gotten me to let go of these fears.

So I meditate like this

Knowing that the universe provides always. Every time I close my eyes, I know I trust myself & the universe.

Holy crap. I did it.

I applied to grad school at Naropa University, I did it. I took my first step at becoming the person I have always envisioned to be. For some reason, I feel like I have always had to live up to the expectations of my family. Go to school, play sports, get a nice job, get married, have children, die.

So what am I going to fill my time with between: job – death? A WHOLE FRICKEN LOT.

In my magical world of dream land, I will become my own boss so work is not work, it is my passion and I will be the happiest hobbiest. Maybe I’ll open a yoga studio, maybe I’ll open a tea shop, maybe I’ll open a tea/yoga lounge.

One thing I know is that if I can dream it, I can achieve it. Remembering that time is not of the essence but only a figure and if I stay diligent and true, all good things will come in time. Positivity will attract positive momentum. Positive momentum will reward me with results, results will encourage me to continue my path until eventually my snowball of complete, true and pure energy will be unchallenged to anything in its path.

Destiny is real, choose how you want to achieve it.