Why do I feel so forgotten lately?
It reminds me of when I was younger and my Dad was supposed to pick me up on Wednesdays from school and bring me to practice. He missed three weeks in a row before I decided to find my own way.
Its this knot that builds very low inside me. Slow building a rope that rises up through my head. Eventually cutting off my senses, I become cold, insecure and weak.
It is a feeling like not knowing if tomorrow the sun will rise.
This thought is ever lasting that there is something damaged about me, something that no one wants.
So every day I fall more madly in love with myself because I will always know who and where I am. That is what meditation has taught me to do, know my truth.
At some point, I think this can be so obsessive and how can I find a love that won’t forget me if I don’t forget myself. How can I receive with no hand to give hold to in return?
But self-loving is not just loving myself it is being selfless to others.
Giving yourself to others through simple actions. Choosing not to engage, to ignore anger, and show undenying love and affection to those who are in need of it, because I have so much for myself, everyone needs it too.
When I am not self-loving I destroy myself, breakdown and become someone I hate.
We all do.
So I choose every moment, to take it(life) as it is.
To remind myself to smile because no one likes a frowny friend.
To remind myself to be selfless because that is how you receive self.
Writing this to remind myself that this is who I am.
Practicing this & repeating these actions over and over can only change my life.
Each time I practice, the gaps in my selfishness becomes less and less.
This will be who I am, NOT FORGOTTEN.