Thinking of my heart, my Grandfathers face came into my mind. I love him so deeply. He showed me what a Father actually is.

Being adopted at birth, I never questioned who my actual parents were. My Father who raised me loved me with the love he had left in his heart. He did not have the prettiest life and had a lot of damage he needed to work through. He often lies which was something I often had a hard time dealing with, especially growing up. If adults do it, doesn’t that make it okay? In fact not. I am the most honest person I know because my father lies so often. My Mother who subsequently left him, projected his lies onto me, so even when I did tell the truth I was lieing. 

It felt like there was no winning to this endless circle, but in my heart I always new the truth. This saved me most days. 

So when it came to life issues or important topics it’s was difficult for my father to listen with his heart. Over the years I have learned to realize, if a heart is not healed it cannot hear. Grandpa always listens with his heart and that’s why it’s difficult for me to let go.