An intention of a year of sobriety

I had my first drink of alcohol when I was 12, I got drunk for the first time when I was 15 years old and by the time I was 21, I was consistently blacking out. I have gained and lost many friends from my alcohol infused adventures. The ones that I have gained are okay, the ones that I have lost never understood my struggle and the ones that I still have I am thankful for.

Alcohol turns me into a completely different person. My first two drinks I am normally fine, the third I get giggly and by the fourth, I can’t remember shit and will usually end up buying shit I really don’t need. A year and a half ago I go drunk with some friends, I left the party blacked out drunk in an attempt to catch my flight to LAX. My lifelong friend “Z” came to the rescue and almost killed me. She did not speak to me for an entire year, the thought of losing someone that I had known since forever scares the living shit out of me. I want to change because the people that love me hate me when I drink. I hate myself when I drink. I hate being hungover, I hate the fact that I smoke cigarettes, I hate how I get super sick after drinking.

My current lifestyle does not allow me to drink often, but I feel as though it would bring me much pride to say I am sober. I know it will make feel happier and give me a sense of joy. Last year I went almost 4 months without drinking alcohol, I can do this.

Just do it. Change my life, if I lose people and relationships, fine, but I will know I am healthy and happy. I am confident that the  people I have lost relationships will understand me  bit more. The people that I surround myself with will be more caring, mindful and strong. It will give me an advantage to become more successful. I will have a clearer conscience, less anxiety and confidence. My frontal cortex will thank me.

So I am going to do it, one year at a time, one year of no alcohol.

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